Things to define my 2007

I made this on December 31st so I posted it this on that date. I made one on 2006 too.
What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? A lot of things actually. And first time experiences mean so much to me. I would like to keep it to myself this year, let’s say it’s too personal and sensitive. :-P
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Not all. I’ll try.
Did anyone close to you give birth? Ate Sweet, my cousin.
Did anyone close to you die? My aunt Ate Neneng, partner of my uncle who got killed on 2006. She’s my neighbor in my previous apartment too.
What countries did you visit? None this year.
What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? More more courage. Peace of mind.
What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? When my aunt died because of aneurysm. I accompanied her in the hospital and I was the first person who saw her dead. Weird, I mentioned her in this question last 2006.
When I first met Brandon who eventually became my guy. Well, give me a break, been single for 3 long years I believe, lol!
My birthday! EJ, my committed bestfriend who came all the way from Davao surprised me in Glorietta Mall with flowers, balloons and cake. Rolly was his sidekick and the rest of the gang. When I saw my half sister and stepmom after 4 years in a wedding I attended.
When I got these instant kids.
What was your biggest achievement of the year? Didn’t cry a lot. Seriously! Said things I mostly liked to say.
What was your biggest failure? Trusted so much.
Did you suffer illness or injury? Shameful but I suffered from pigsa (boil) at the side of my right butt’s cheek! Duh?!Totally disgusting.
What was the best thing you bought? T.V. and DVD player. I eventually gave it to my grands when they visited me here.
Whose behavior merited celebration? Ahemm… me.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My maid who stole my money! P*ta!$%$%$$^%^%%&^&!
Where did most of your money go? Bills. Tuition.
What did you get really, really, really excited about? I must keep it to myself, lol. Let’s see what 2008 could offer.
What song(s) will always remind you of 2007? Wild Thing like how Santi calls me which eventually became a song of JAG’s commercial. Kilig!
Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? -- happier. ii. thinner or fatter? -- I gained weight! Yahoo!!! iii. richer or poorer? –-Richer ;-)
What do you wish you'd done more? I should have had enough travel. Exercise. Read. Write. Draw. Love.
What do you wish you'd done less of? Sleep (It seems that I got what I wished this year). Internet.
How many one-night stands? None.
What was your favorite TV program? Oprah.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No. I hate hating.
What was the best book you read? Reread The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. It’s always the best.
What was your greatest musical discovery? I can't think of any now.
What did you want and get? Boyfriend. Freedom. Blog in public and not in private anymore.
What was your favorite film of this year? Let me remember first, honey. I can't just point one. Apocalypto and so on...
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 23. Celebrated it with EJ, cousins and some friends. Barhopped till 8 in the morning. The following day, I met Kris Lawrence again just like when I turned 22 and Jay-R, watched movie with them, went to Jay-R’s bar Rock Candy and Cable Car. Hhmmm… a celebration with celebrities?:-P At kilig na kilig ako, lol!
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I don't know.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?Simple+sophisticated=understated elegance.
What kept you sane? Art. Photography. Blog.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Drew Barrymore. I just don’t know. And Enrique Iglesias! He’s my boyfriend on T.V.,lol!
What political issue stirred you the most? coup d'etat
Who did you miss? My family.
Who was the best new person you met? Brandon.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: Never trust anyone so much. Give a second chance, but more than 10times is too much.
Being brave is not just about getting hurt, it would make you feel free :-P
I learned to express my feelings more.
What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself: Well, other than the people around me, expect that I had received a hundreds of other compliment since I worked for customer service."you are a wonderful person…you have self-responsibility yada yada yada..."
“you’re so good, I’ve never met someone like you before…blah blah blah”
“you got talents…etc etc etc”
The most touching experience you've had this year? When I made people happy coz of my little secret good deed. Same last year.
What did you like most about yourself this year? Guts.
What did you hate most about yourself this year? making some imprudent decisions, eating unhealthy food
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Sorry, a lot of things happened and I can’t sum up everything in one song
Was 2007 a good year for you? A very good year and I earned a lot of memories I don’t want to forget.
What was your favorite moment of the year? Batangas escapades.Knowing Brandon. Birthday. When Paul and grandparents visited me here. Paul and John Chito's grad last March in Davao too.
What was your least favorite moment of the year? When my aunt died. When I lost my money. Mandated overtime.
Where were you when 2007 began? In Batangas.
Who were you with? My relatives.
Where will you be when 2007 ends? home.
Who will you be with when 2007 ends? kids (cousins).
Do you have a new years resolution for 2007? Yes! Stay sane.
What was your favorite month of 2007? February, May, July, August, September, October, November, December.
Did you lose anybody close to you in 2007? Nope.
Did you miss anybody in the past year? A lot, very much.
What was your favorite record from 2007? Enrique Iglesias Insomaniac
How many concerts did you see in 2007? None.
Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2007? Not a lot.
Do a lot of drugs in 2007? No.
You do anything you are ashamed of this year? It's too shameful to share.:-p
How much money did you spend in 2007? I seriously don’t want to know.
What was your proudest moment of 2007? I would like to keep that to myself and to the person involved.:-P
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007? I wouldn’t be proud of any embarrassing moment, lol!
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2007 and change something, what would it be? I would have grabbed all opportunities.
What are your plans for 2008? Blog more, travel, work, create more art, eat good food
How are you different now that the year has ended? I gained more confidence and weight, lol!
What are your wishes for the new year? I hope to write more, sing more, create more art.I hope to keep all my resolutions.I hope I could make good, best decisions.I hope to cook more. I suck on that.I wish to be healthier. Healthier relationships too.

ChRiStMaSharing

After Noche Buena, my cousins and I decided to stay outside my house. While laughing over the bloopers we had during that night, we noticed a man who seemed like barfing across the street. I first thought he was just an old man too irresponsible to get drunk. But then he started to cough to death while embracing him self. He rested on his knees after few moments. My cousin told me that he was a beggar who more often than not stays at their school’s corner. We eventually went inside and grabbed some food. Besides, our food is more than enough for a leftover. I am so proud how my cousins loved to help without any doubt.

Sa likod ng rehas

I think the man was just on his 60’s when I glanced at him face to face. But with his tattered clothes and shoes, he looks like 10 years older than his real age. I observed his teary eyes when my cousin handed the plate. He placed the glass of water on the pavement as he bowed his head as if genuinely praying. I felt he was ill-at-eased with our presence so we left him silently eating like an abandoned child.

It was not my first time to help an elderly. I even helped children and disabled. Not just even twice or trice. I kept secret deeds in my life that only few know. And I am not writing this for boastfulness or self-interest on this cyberworld. But this time, I think those kind of secrets should be revealed to help enlighten some individuals. To share how a simple act could change a person’s life. Most people might have desired to help but knowing no idea how to start is their frequent excuse. People! starting to help isn’t the challenge here, it is how you could sustain a philanthropy act in your lifetime.

My heart is trampled whenever I see poverty and despair in my country. At the same time, it makes me realized how blessed I am than others who never eat three times a day, live in a house or get comfortable clothes. I am millions ahead from people who are sick, dying, poor and oppressed. This is the best time to express gratitude to our abundant life. If not abundant, maybe enough or far more okay than the rest. We shouldn’t complain about what we don’t have yet we could just be thankful of what we now have. Let us at least try to make this world a better place to live in by being satisfied.

Let’s share, give and love not just on Christmas day but everyday…

2007 Christmas

2007- At my house. I celebrated Christmas with my two instant sons (cousins) and maid for the first time. We enjoyed the moment though there’s just the four of us. My son’s girfriend, maid’s boyfriend and friends came over after Noche Buena though. We exchanged gifts, shared food, and nagpaputok ng watusi (I missed that as a kid! and fireworks aren't allowed in Davao.)!:-P

Although I have said in my previous blog entry that everyday is Christmas day, it was clear that I had complained about not really feeling its presence. I know for sure now that I have said those things because I miss my family so much. Being with the family during Christmas is a tradition that typical Filipinos still follow. But knowing I have these pseudo kids with me just makes me feel like I’m home. They never fail to make me happy all throughout the day whether we end up fighting or laughing lol!:-P

This must be a funny thought, but I imagine myself left as a mother-and-father by an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) husband in Dubai.:-P Now that I share a piece of spouse’s feelings, I believe…Babalik ka rin (you’re coming back), OFWs certainly know that best:-P

:D I am just happy. That’s all.

Christmas Day is Everyday

For the very first time in my life, I could not feel the presence of Christmas in some ways. I feel so unusual and I’m trying to hollow out reasons from my sanity. I didn't even make a wishlist for the first time. Before, I get so excited when Christmas is about to approach. For all we know, it’s always a time for family bonding, sharing and giving. I can’t think of any childhood Christmases etched in my mind but I know I used to believe in Santa Claus. I know I enjoyed opening Christmas gifts, over decorating our house, wearing Mrs. Santa costume, watching caroler and attending parties. I’m trying to remember my past Christmas celebrations for I might feel its presence again. I’m known for remembering most significant events but now, I have a very low memory. Damn, I could only go back up to 2003!

2003- Inside Super Ferry 14 on my way to Bacolod (yes, the ship that was bombed on February 27,2004 and killed 116 people. It disturbed me for a couple of months coz I was about to get a ticket back to Bacolod when I heard the news). I originally planned to celebrate it in Bacolod and I would be seeing my Dad’s relatives (including his ex-wife and kids) for the first time but I was stranded in Cagayan de Oro. I celebrated it with the captain, crews, and just about 40 passengers. The majority of passengers were Muslim that's why we're few.

2004- At home with my grandparents, some relatives and cousins. It was my comeback so it was extraordinarily special. My cousins and I arranged everything for Christmas Eve. I really missed our very simple yet enjoying celebration. We got pleasure from our food, wine and Spanish songs (grandma's favorite) for background music.

2005- In a beach resort with my mom, step dad, their kids, and some relatives. How could I ever forget when I arrived 5 minutes before 12midnight? I went to a wrong resort carrying heavy gifts before that, lol!:-P

2006- Intercontinental Hotel Manila with Taka and Rolly. And I missed Christmas Eve for the first time coz I just slept. Haha! I worked on the 23rd-24th(graveyard shift), then after work, we went to Cavite to catch butterflies, dropped by in some resorts and in Tagaytay. It was an exhausting day so what would you expect?

I think all celebrations revealed above are memorable by some means coz mostly are first time incidents. In spite of remembering those experiences, I still don’t feel like its Christmas. Even going to malls and buying gifts seems so ordinary. I even hate spending too much for Christmas decorations and pricey gifts now coz money seems so important to me. I’m more worried about the bills and future expenses, things I was never concerned about before. But of course, for Christmas’s sake I decorated my house coz my kids (cousins that I’m taking good care of) grumbled why I didn’t even place Christmas lights on my window. But after all that has done, I feel nothing has changed. Caroler comes and sings some Christmas songs at my door but I don’t feel the spirit of the lyrics anymore. I received early Christmas gifts but I feel no heart for it. What am I becoming? :-(

Just some of the crazy things we did before decorating :-P

But I know that I’m not the only one who’s feeling this way. I even read some blogs of people who hates Christmas. Yeh, that’s just a terrible way to say it, they maybe Jewish/Buddhist I’m not certain but I so respect their opinion. I do not hate Christmas though… I just don’t feel it. It is just a normal holiday in some parts of the world but for most Filipinos, it really is a big celebration just like New Years and feasts. They spend all of their money from their 13th month pay and from what they earned. They buy gifts that aren’t really needed. I just don’t think it’s practical to spend a lot. And I think that there are thousand best ways to waste your money wisely on Christmas.

I like to consider that I started to think this way since my cousins lived with me. I feel like I have my own kids and that I have to be more concerned of budgets and expenses. I am miles away from my immediate family and I couldn’t celebrate it with them for I favored to stay here. I have to prioritize some important things than to spend so much.

Just today, my boyfriend asked me if I’m ready for Christmas. I gave him gibberish answers like I don’t know or because I found out that Santa Claus isn’t true and Jesus wasn’t really born on the 25th. I was being imprudent with my answers I know, I just really don’t know what to say to him. Then he said that for him, it’s just a time of appreciation with his family. I was frozen for seconds. He’s truthfully right. I realized then that it’s time for me to stop complaining. :-P It’s not about how I hate Christmas rush and people who spend all their money anymore, lol!

But I also like to believe that family bonding, sharing and giving shouldn’t be just on Christmas day or special occasions. It would be more meaningful to give on a very irrelevant date. Wouldn’t it be surprising to receive or give something on a very ordinary day? We could even be thankful and appreciate our life everyday.

And for that, I would like to say that everyday is Christmas day for one and all whether you’re Jewish or Buddhist or whatever. We are given days to be thankful even if we receive the simplest gift ever. It is also about believing that a God exists and that we believe in Him. In addition, Christmas is to remind us that a year is about to end and we have a new and positive year to look forward to.

Don't get me wrong, I'm just being emotional because I miss my family so much. Thinking over the past memorable Christmases I had just makes me miss them more.

Anyway, I made a new template inspired by 'White Christmas' song, a Christmas gift for my blog. I know it is impossible to rain snow in the Philippines but I made this coz my boyfriend is experiencing winter right now. Isn't that sweet? Both odd and sweet! Lol! :-P





Merry Christmas

and a Happy

New Year to

all Bloggers!

Dear Santa,

I believe I've been naughty this year but I've been nice too! So it would be okay for me if you would just grant half of my wishes on my list, lol! :-P Bluntly, I have nothing else new to ask for this Christmas so I just reposted some of the things I had on my 2007 Birthday Wishlist. You would know what I didn't get then. ;-)

• Books (5th-7th Harry Potter, Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes, Judith Mcnaught's Every Breath You Take,Carmen Guerrero Nakpil's Myself, Elsewhere,Laura Lee Gurke's And Then He Kissed Her)
• Sony Memory stick pro duo (256 MB is ok or higher! haha!)
• Wacom Bamboo and Canon EOS 350D Digital
  
• For any reasons I want to have a print of
  
• New paint
• Chocolates, bavarian donut, gummy bears and lollipops
• DVDs (not necessarily brand new)
• I want new shoes, bags, accessories, dresses, nail polisher(more), make-up kit
• A job that is exciting and stimulating (hell, I don’t care about high salary anymore)
• A cuddly dog
• Surprises (I got this on my birthday but it isn't bad to ask more this Christmas, right?)

P.S.

"Pale Christmas"

This is the latest entry in my deviantart account. Click photo for full view.

Baby, I wish you're home for Christmas. :-(

Duh, wishful thinking.

Am I That Curious?

A BIG Yes! And I recently got the Dat Curious Award!!! As said in his website, it’s about sex for the curious mind yet the award isn’t all that. He actually made it for his 100th post and I find it very cool to have such brilliant idea. I’m glad I found his site at 13th witch’s links (also a worth reading blog) coz his entries are funnier than I thought! Do drop by his site to see for yourself! :-)

When I got the award, I know I’m one of the people who deserve such honor. Ahem…:-P Although I confess I find sex interesting, I am not thinking all about sex when I got the award. I have an incredibly curious mind for everything else in the world. I believe that all living things find opportunities in their lives to come out from their shells and start to discover what’s outside. Dolphins may try four math operations and learn; however rats may eat rat-killing food and die. As well goes with human being, they try different sex positions and get satisfied, others try to commit crimes and get themselves to jail. But decision follows after curiosity; and that’s where creature’s mind is truly tested.

I think individuals who ignore curiosity are afraid of what they’re going to get from it. It is still normal to have doubts before trying but at least they thought about trying. The universe has a lot to offer that sitting in one spot wouldn’t take one foot to another step. I wonder how dull is the life of an apathetic person. He surely needs some cure. I would rather be curious at all times and feel pain or perhaps get nothing out of it than stay stagnant and die without trying. Learning maybe a painful process but that is the purpose of living. And I think I must swerve.

So, thank you for the award Jay, which made me more curious. :-P I am pleased I dropped by your Cure-You-City; you have a very magnificent cyber place!

Today is Crying Day

Today is a totally different day. I keep crying and crying and crying. I am crying because of something I don't understand, something I don't know and because of many things. A person involved knows this. My boyfriend Brandon makes me cry. Strange, but I am happy for that. Do you think I'm crazy? If I am, allow me to embrace this insanity for I feel more human like this. Anyways, he's worth crying. I see so many tears now and I'm delighted. I believe I only cried twice this year before this. I never cried this hard for a long time. For a very very long time! Now, I feel like a normal person, not a pretender or a liar to myself. I weep, I have my emotions back, and I am happy. I feel healthier! My strong will was finally defeated by my feelings. I think a normal person knows how to cry/should cry sometimes. I'm powerless and my mortal body is conquered by souls I used to have.

Brandon Weygant and Catherine Salazar

However this may end Brandon, thank you. You never know how much you mean to me. The words are not enough. I would never forget the first time I heard your manly voice, I saw your beautiful face, and I kissed your soft lips. This isn't saying goodbye, I just want the whole cyberworld to know how I cared about you. Even if you make me cry :-P

I just look at our pictures and it makes me feel ok.

I must love crying sometimes, WOW, this makes me feel better. Hush. There are certain things in this world that are only understood by one's self. That makes life... a mystery.

Pigsa Kicks Butt!

So, I guess this is what you really want!!! You came uninvited in my life but why can’t I force you out? I became too weak. You give me so much pain, sleepless nights and shameful days! Since the day you came, I began to wear loose-fitting shorts coz it seems you don’t want me sexy! I made attempts to wear my favorite shorts but your pain always reminded me! You turn me on and makes me hot all over! But why do you want me to walk unsteadily sluggish!? We perform only three dull positions everytime we sleep so I thought you're just using me. But on the other hand, you are always there for me. You should have given me signs that you were coming! I rant! Sh*t na pigsa/bukol! P*tcha! ^$#@*(*&!@#$??!!?

Pig^sa- n. furuncle/boil in english. A painful, circumscribed pus-filled inflammation of the skin and subcutaneous tissue usually caused by a local staphylococcal infection. And whatever that means, I don't care to know further. I want pigsa away!

Idle is my mode for the past few days because of fever. I’m having an on-off fever because of this pigsa (which I’m still not sure) located at the side of my butt’s right cheek. Of all parts (infuriated grasp…duh)! I’m not really sure how I supposed to call this thing. I got a fever before this came, I believe it was because of the changing weather. I just remembered that before this occurred, John Carlo, my son (cousin) and I had a pillow fight, harutan and we boisterously teased each other. And the next thing that happened is this. I’m still not convinced it’s pigsa or boil coz I couldn’t see any third-eye or hole (just like what most people say about it). :-P This thing on my butt is reddish and painful! It even gets bigger everyday! Sh*t! My cousin had this few weeks ago and I teased him about it. Is this karma? :-(

I think I asked the doctor about this few years back when I had a minor breast surgery, so I claim I knew what to do. I searched online and some tips helped me just like in Bambam's blog I never stopped looking for ways to cure it without going to the doctor coz I really hate prescriptions+doctors (though I took some antibiotics)! Gosh! Thanks I’m doing much better now. I know I’ll get better very very soon.


SOME HELPFUL TIPS FROM ebadesabelle.blogspot.com

1. (REAL ) You can self administer the removal of your pigsa. But make sure that the malambot part ( it's usually at the center) are really soft and whitish already... hinog na ba... it's easier to get the, um, 'mata-mata'. i'm not exactly sure what this mata-mata is but.... it's this semi-solid material that if you get it off the afflicted area... will bring you complete relief. yey.
2. To make the pigsa mature and hinog faster, it helps if you apply hot compress on the afflicted area. This brings more blood to the area which means there'd be more white blood cells and so... mega pus formation galore!!!
3. applying ointment that has 'petrolatum' and antiseptic is okay too.... but it seems to make your pigsa grow scarily big... but yeah, it works. it just has a funky smell though. yep, petroleum...
4. It's handy if you carry with you a roll of clean white tissue and a garbage plastic all the time... you never know when the pigsa might pop!
5. It's handier if you have a 'pigsa towel' (plain towel) with you. It's be less nasty if you have ointment applied in your pigsa... your mom won't have to kill you too for destroying her immaculate sofa covers...
6. It's handiEST if you have both. mwahaha....
7. I dunno why but it hurts when plain tap water hits my afflicted areas. Nevertheless, don't skip taking a bath!!!!! If you will, you'd smell like a lethal combination of ointment and vagina or vagino (if you're a guy. haha). It's lethal alright. And not just for you.
8. It's not surprising if you get a fever because of this pigsa (in my case i already had the fever and THEN came the pigsa). When the happens though, go to your doc. Your pigsa might need professional extraction. (aka surgery!)

If not, I'll kill you pigsa!!!

She :-(

She…

Needs respect and value,

But conformed by few.

She…

Must be loved and cared,

But was abandoned impaired.

She…

Is not just for sex or lust,

But was swept away like dust.

She...

Could portray like a martyr,

But men then disappear.

She...

Is not a damned slave,

But hurt is what he gave.

A poem (posted in deviantart too) I made after I talked with my boyfriend earlier. :-( I was inspired to do this coz I just felt bad after we talked. I know this is exaggerated, this is for those who experienced much more than I did. I could not say anything bad to him so I wrote this. He wouldn't read this anyway.

Rate My Kiss

Rarely that I go out now because I’m sick. I hate being sick coz I feel so helpless! Gosh! But what makes it good is, you would know who really cares in times like this. Breakfast in bed, phone calls, text messages, overused 'get well soon' are what I’ve been getting for roughly a week. I’m mostly in front of my monitor aside from sleeping. I'm googling, blogging and answering quizzes in http://www.blogthings.com/. Until I got to answer “How do your kisses rate?”. Before I took the quiz, I really didn’t know if I kiss good enough. Ahem:-P But I was a bit confident. Haha!

As defined in Wikipedia, a kiss is a touching with the lips, which is used as an expression of affection, or as a greeting or a farewell; more intense kissing is used to express romantic affection or sexual desire. And I definitely agree with that. I always say that I think I could have sex with everyone but I could not afford to kiss someone I don’t like. It may sound that I give more importance to kiss than sex but it is how I see it personally as of now. A kiss for me is romantic and not lustful. It's soft touches are pillow that comforts and grants body fall asleep to self-pleasure. It’s a mysterious way of finding someone’s alluring flesh that could bring both to freedom and ecstasy. One could be blind but kiss is like the eyes, imaginative and experimental. A kiss is so magical that could bring sparkle and new stage to one's life. So, if that is how I spell out kiss, how would you rate me? :-P

Well, below was how i was rated!

Your Kissing Grade: A

You are truly an amazing kisser. Your kisses are extraordinarily mind blowing.Whether you're naturally a good kisser or not, you've taken the time learn how to be the best kisser possible.Anyone would be lucky to get a kiss from you!

How do your kisses rate?

i got this photo below at:
http://www.everybodyloveskiss.com/2007/08/06/kiss-me-baby/

<---Brandon and me wayback, lol! unfinished drawing of us two,our version-->