Engaged

My blog exists for 3 years now and I know Brandon for almost the same. This blog was started out of boredom, out of heartbreak, and out of feeling stagnant. But if those feelings weren’t felt, I would have not started this blog. And I would have not gone to that dating site where I met Brandon. We personally met after a month of talking and I would like to say that meeting him was one of my happiests.

This blog has witnessed how my relationship with him progressed from just a typical long distance bf/gf into a more serious and meaningful one. But this has also become my outlet throughout my love sickness, pains, and heartaches. I think what I love about writing in public about my feelings is I get to be more open and my openness is put into practice. It makes me feel better when readers or strangers allow me to vent out and when they share their opinions; without really hustling me to agree with them.

And now, as part of justifying the progress I was talking about, I am dot, dot, dot proudly engaged! Yes, I am engaged to the man who has been generally known subject of my writings! :D I am since last year, actually. But it took me time to talk openly about it because I had to consider a lot of things especially my family. And in view of the fact that Brandon already met and told my family about our plan, I am more than free now to scream that I’m going to share my life with someone.

It would probably be not a surprise to a lot of people as we all end up with one at any points of our lives. But it was to me. In my heart, I know that I’m not afraid to be alone. We all hear that two heads are better than one but I normally succeed doing things on my own. This self-centered attitude gave me a chance of freedom to work with myself and test its limit. Putting restrictions in my being was in fact my freedom. It was a law I allowed myself to go after, and that this self is my property.

Now don’t get me wrong, at the time I succeeded doing things alone, I was just really on my own.  

Nevertheless, I am very proud to say that Brandon has been a big influence to me when it comes to dropping my restrictions and pretensions. I think most of the time, when a certain person influences you, although how much you battle with your own demons, you accept them into your life. To me, Brandon is an impact who I tolerated to smash up my fragile self, haha! God, why am I around people who take advantage? :P

Kidding aside, it didn’t really take me a lot of time to accept him. The chemistry that I believe we have since we first met was enough proof for me that we are for each other. I don’t really want to talk about magic to place flowery words on this entry but I’m sure I have felt that since the beginning-- that of which compelled me to work for this relationship. We have gone through bad formulas that caused us to blow but I think the only secret is to try harder.

For the past 3 years, I always say that I’ve changed drastically. And I like to believe that this relationship is a big part of that change. I know that it’s been a long while waiting but I’m glad that we didn’t work against the clock because this allows us to grow individually. At one point or another, I have hurt him, I have failed, I have hated and vice versa. But it was a thing that made me think, that I wouldn’t be the right person for Brandon if I didn’t go through it all. I bent over backwards for this relationship to work and this happiness I’m feeling is just the fruit of my labor. :P

Well, I got to work now, I hope I can continue this at a later time.

I don’t want to leave any vows yet, I’m saving them for later. :P But I want the love of my life to know, I’m very hopeful that this is going to work for a long time. My love for you is  growing everyday and it’s just waiting for us to be together again. :)

And if my fiancé would read this and has any violent reactions because what I have written is more about me and my efforts (understand that this is an unfinished post), go make your own blog! :P